Feeling incredibly lucky...

The more conversations I have with my girls, the more I realize how fortunate I am. If the grapes burn or if there is a bad year in the wine industry, my family will still be fine. Right now there is a drought in the countryside in Cambodia and the rice plants are dying. Many of the Harpswell girls are worried about whether their families will be okay for the next year. We don't have to worry about where our next meal is coming from or whether we will even have our next meal. It was assumed that I would attend primary and secondary school because it's compulsory and free in the United States. I was not only prepared for university but I could also afford to attend because my parents gave me the incredible gift of paying for it. I was also able to secure an internship which paid for my fourth year of college. I knew I could get a job with the degree I have and that I could both pay all of my expenses and save enough for this trip with that job. I may not have liked certain aspects of it, but it was incredibly easy compared to 95% of the jobs in Cambodia.

I can choose whether to marry, who to marry and, if I am truly unhappy, I can divorce without being despised by my family and friends. If I divorce and have children, the judge will will likely give joint custody instead of awarding the children just to the father. If I am married to someone who abuses me, I can get out of the marriage and seek help from the police, who will protect me.

I don't have to worry about corruption affecting my every day life. I know it happens at the highest levels of government in the US, as it does in every country, but I don't have to worry about paying off my teachers, the police, to secure a good job or for protection for my family. I have a say in what happens in the government and I know that if I wanted to be president, that could eventually be a possibility.

None of my family members have ever been brutally murdered. Yes, some of them have died too soon because of cancer, but I've never lost someone to a genocide or murder. I don't know real fear because I've never experienced it (knock on wood) and it is unlikely that I will.

I have every opportunity to be what I want to be, to have the career I choose, and a family, if I choose to take that path. I know I will never be discriminated against for the color of my skin or the gender I was assigned in utero. No one is going to tell me that I am not as good as a boy or a man and I won't be looked down upon just because I am a woman. My biggest worry is how to transport my cats to the location where I will next live after this trip.

One of the biggest reasons why I decided to undertake the volunteer aspects of my trip is because I've always felt that I was born a very lucky person. I don't know why some people are born into situations like mine and others are born into abject poverty. I've had almost 28 years of being incredibly lucky, now it's my time to give some of my luck to other people so they can have some incredible years too.

UNESCO!

I am happy to announce that I was selected for an internship with the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization, Education for Sustainable Development Unit in Bangkok, Thailand for three months next spring.  I'll be integrated into the unit as a junior member focusing on gender equality.

I realized a few days ago that I'll never be happy in a standard desk job, so I'm trying to find careers that will allow me to travel extensively, contribute to a global society and teach at the university level when possible. I was contemplating only spending 12 days in Malaysia and feeling that wasn't enough time,  before I come home at Christmas, and realized that's usually my vacation allotment for the year back home. I love volunteering, I love learning about new cultures, eating new types of food and understanding different traditions. I love understanding what makes people happy in one culture and how that is similar or different to another culture. I love looking for ways to solve problems I encounter and sharing ideas with others who are equally passionate. I want all of these things to be part of my career. One option is to become CELTA-certified and teach at a university program somewhere outside the States. I'm also taking the foreign service officer exam and looking into options in that field. I could also go back for my PhD either in the US or abroad, and study developing countries. Once I left the US, I realized the possibilities are endless. Travel is wonderful.

The tough thing about living in Cambodia

One of the hardest things about living in Phnom Penh is seeing the poverty. This reality hit... no shoved.. me pretty hard when I was coming out of the grocery store and a six or seven year old boy came up to me and pointed at my bag and said "banana" over and over again. I gave him one and he ate it like he was starving. His clothes were stained and dirty and it looked like he hadn't bathed in a while. It broke my heart. Another image that is framed in my mind is a 8 or 9 months pregnant, very young woman, sleeping against a lamp post next to the river, while her 2 year old child slept on a blanket on the sidewalk. I saw this same woman near my house, far away from the riverside, a few days before, wearing the same dress. She didn't have the toddler with her at that point, and I wondered where he was. I had two children, about 12 and 9, come up to me at a gas station while my motorbike taxi driver was getting gas. I gave them a dollar and they almost jumped for joy. I wondered where their parents were, or if they have parents.

Phnom Penh has a huge number of NGOs, just about one on every block, yet these kids look like they haven't eaten in days. It made me wonder where that money is going. To add insult to injury, the president of Cambodia wants to build the tallest skyscraper in Asia for $200 billion in Phnom Penh. I know that in the US, we don't do a great job of taking care of our poor either, but I don't understand why he is sinking money into a skyscraper that could be used to feed the people.


I went to the Royal Palace and Silver Pagoda on Saturday and I enjoyed it, but again, I kept thinking how much money was in those display cases that could be used for the people begging outside. I don't know what the answer is. A friend who works here said that so much foreign money has been flowing into Cambodia for so many years, that it should be in much better shape than it is... but everyone wants their cut. I will never see a Cambodia-trained doctor because they may have bribed the school officials to let them graduate with dismal scores. Many students pay the teachers for test answers and many  pay extra for additional tutoring if they actually want to learn something in class. Businesses often complain that Cambodian-trained graduates don't know anything. I think our girls are different-they aren't allowed to cheat and they work really hard. I just hope future employers recognize their intelligence and skills. These are all issues I hope to address in my future career. Cambodia won't be able to compete with the US or other western nation in terms of higher education any time soon, but it would be nice to at least bring all Southeast Asian countries up to the same standard.

Cambodia adventures

Apparently I use the phrase "sounds good" too much. I'll have to remember not to use it or use a similar phrase. My girls enlightened me to this fact in our class tonight. I love the classes I teach every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday to 7 girls ranging from 17-22.
Bormey is 17 and started university at 16; I call her Mey. She loves to smile and is studying economics.
Siv Ghech is 20, from Sihanoukville and my nickname for her is Jade because that's approximately what her name means in English. She is an a very eager learner and is studying law.
Lady Rina is my 22 year old little fireball with lots of energy and spice, she is studying law; Candy Chandy is 20 and has an excellent command of intonation and pronunciation, she is also studying law;  Savory Savry is 21 and is organized an
d also very sweet; she is studying accounting. They are all from Kandal Province.
Kunthea, nicknamed Thea, is 20 and sort of the "mother" of the group because she takes care of everyone. She is from Kampong Cham province and is studying law.
Makara is the newest one of the group, but she's absent this week so I'm not sure where she is from or what she is studying. She is quiet but very smart.


There are about 30 girls living in the Boeung Trabeck dorm with me. It's definitely taken a (huge) adjustment to get used to living, not just with one person, but with three other people. I forgot how much harder it is to live with people in such close proximity. I'm having trouble sleeping, I think partially because of all the activity in and around the dorm at night. The girls sleep very little-sometimes as few as 4 or 5 hours per night, and if I can't even make one day on that amount of sleep. It must just be years of practice but I can't do it.

On Sunday I led a leadership seminar entitled "it's all about love", subtitled "respect and love".  We did several activities and discussed what respect means, their experiences with discrimination, derogatory comments and demeaning comments made about their looks or bodies, and imagining what other people from minority groups feel like when they are discriminated against. We discussed how all of us have been hurt by comments in the past and hopefully it made the girls think and grow closer to their "sisters".

I was speaking today to one of the older girls about Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge. She said she had a hard time hearing the stories over and over again because they made her sad. Her grandmother had 9 children before the genocide and was left with just two after. She also lost her husband at the same time. I have a feeling I'll be hearing more stories as my time here progresses. This country is still in the recovery stages from the genocide and I'm sure it will take many more years and a lot more healing.