Remapping my life

I've been corresponding with a former leadership resident, Anna, and she asked me if I'm doing a lot of remapping my life. I realized that's a perfect term to use. I feel like this trip is making me think (even more than usual) about where I want to go and what I want to do.

When I left on my trip in April, I was all set to take my GRE in November, apply to graduate programs in December and start my PhD in international education, focusing on creating educational structures to promote sustainable development in developing countries, in 2011. However, after visiting four developing countries I'm starting to question whether this is the right degree for me. Part of it is realizing my own hubris: what makes me, a 27 year old, fairly privileged, white girl from California qualified to march into developing countries and tell them how to run their education systems? I love research, but if I do research, then I also want to work on implementation. I don't want to just write articles for academic journals for the sole sake of publishing in academic journals. I love teaching, but I want to teach people who have fewer opportunities than I had. I want to contribute to developing countries, but I'm not sure of the best way to do that.

Long story short, I'm now thinking about postponing my PhD until I'm REALLY sure what I want to do. My plan right now is to apply for jobs relating either to education or international development/policy in 7 cities in the US: Washington DC, Boston, New York City, Seattle, Portland and San Francisco. I'll go to the city where I find the best job to accomplish my goals of better understanding international education and policy.

I'm only 4.5 months into my trip, and I have a feeling my plans will change multiple times over the next 9 months, but on August 19th, 2010, this is where I am.