I will never get used to...

Walking into a room and everyone turning to stare. You would think after 5 weeks in Vietnam, 5 weeks of being the token foreigner, 5 weeks of being the tallest, usually biggest, almost always whitest, woman in the room that I would be used to this by now. But I'm not.

Today I went to my second Vietnamese wedding. One of the teachers at the vocational college has become a good friend of mine so when we went for coffee this morning, she asked if I wanted to come to her student's wedding with her. I had also taught this student. The bride and groom are first year students at the vocational college and only 18. They are both from poor families in the countryside and the groom is already working. The bride will finish this term at the college and then begin working as well. The wedding was very loud but it was neat to see several of my students outside of class. Rather than being in a big fancy hall, it was outside, with many tables set up under a corrugated metal roof. It was a "small" wedding by Vietnamese standards but there were still at least 200 people. The bride was very pretty but oh so young.

I've been in Vietnam now for five weeks. I know the names of most of the streets around my house, I know how to get to the universities where I teach, to the river, to the beach, to the supermarket and to a few great coffee places. I know where I can go to get "comfort food", including Mexican, Italian, pizza, pasta, mac and cheese and grilled cheese and what dishes I can eat at the many "street shops" where you can get a great meal for $0.25. I have a better appreciation for certain parts of US government, especially when I witness rampant corruption in the adoption process and various other places. However, I have a great appreciation for these people, who welcome me so warmly and want nothing more than for me to stay here forever, marry a Vietnamese man and have little half Vietnamese babies. I also have a greater appreciation for westernized values in marriage, because I would probably be jailed for shooting my Vietnamese husband when he refused to help me with the housework or cooking because that's a "woman's job".

I've been trying to spend as much time as possible in the baby orphanage near my house, even though it breaks my heart to see how sick some of the babies are. It seems almost all of them have something: sores on their heads, pneumonia, flu, diarrhea, you name it, they have it. There are about four "mothers" at any one time taking care of up to 20 babies in 8 or 12 hour shifts. Now I don't know about you, but taking care of screaming babies and toddlers all day and all night seems an impossible task to me. The orphanage is a cosponsored by the Vietnamese government and a Canadian adoption agency, and I'm really not sure who is supposed to be in charge financially, but whoever it is chooses to treat only at the last minute. I've heard, however, that the hospital where the babies are taken is so underfunded that they would in many cases be better off in the orphanage than in the hospital. I wish I could take all of the babies home with me or that I could somehow start an adoption agency that isn't so corrupt, but I wouldn't even know where to begin.

I just finished week four of teaching and I'm slowly figuring out how to work within the parameters of the programs, the schools and my own energy level. The heat is sometimes so overwhelming that I struggle to finish a class. I really love when the class is engaged and having fun learning but sometimes it is really hard to just maintain enough energy to teach 2-3 classes per day. I'm getting there though. Slowly but surely. I teach at four different places, DaNang University, Duy Tan University, DaNang Vocational College and Friendship Foreign Language Center. The hardest thing is scheduling but I think that's just something that needs to be worked out.

There's this thing in Vietnam that we call "rubber time". I always ask if we're going by rubber time or American time when I'm meeting up with friends because if it's rubber time, then add 20-30 minutes to American time. Classes usually start late, I will usually meet people later then the set time, everything is just on a different schedule.

I've started trying to learn Vietnamese, but it is so different than English, that I really struggle with it. I hope to have a few things down before I leave. The crazy thing is, now that I've reactivated the language part of my brain, my French and Spanish are coming back. Because, as everyone knows, French and Spanish is infinitely useful in an Asian country (oi troi oi! oh my god!)
 
Hasta La Vista

Photos are 1) Kareoke; 2) the bride and three of my students; 3) two of the students and my friend Chi Lai (the teacher); 4) one of the "mothers" with Viet, who was adopted last week and was a favorite at the orphanage; 5) "my" baby, Ly, who I spend most of my time with; 6) the orphanage

A weekend in Hoi An

After an exhausting week last week, I decided I needed a weekend break. DaNang is only about 30 kilometers from Hoi An, a beautiful seaside city. Hoi An is known as the "city of tailors" and I took full advantage of it. Jen, our operations manager and a good friend of mine, and I had a great time. I had shorts, a dress, a skirt and a blouse made for teaching. I had previously had the traditional "Ao Dai" (pronounced like Au Yai, made but it didn't fit very well. I had it adjusted so now it fits really well; I'll wear it to teach sometime this week. On Friday we relaxed on the beach with a cocktail and our books. I'm enjoying Eat, Pray, Love and reflecting on the role this experience is having on my concepts of my life and my role in this world.

Friday night Jen and I went to dinner with another volunteer, Annie, a former employee of the Gates Foundation who quit her job a few months ago and is traveling to Europe, Asia and volunteering in Africa before moving to Vietnam full time sometime next year. It's fun to hear all the stories of the other volunteers both to understand their reasons for volunteering and to see what drew them to Vietnam. A few of the volunteers are like Annie: their parents are from Vietnam and they came here to better understand the people and their culture.

On Saturday, Jen and I met up with Jen's friend Mai, a masseuse and spa manager in Hoi An. Mai is 37 weeks pregnant with her first child, a girl.

In the Vietnamese calendar, this year is the year of the Tiger. This does not bode well for girls born this year. Apparently parents do not want girls born in the year of the Tiger because they are strong-willed, too independent and it is supposedly very difficult to find husbands for girls born in the year of the Tiger. I'm surprised I'm not year of the Tiger because I am very independent! The government promised a cash handout to parents who keep their female babies born this year. Jen is concerned that the orphanages may see an increase in female babies this year. I really hope not. Many couples marry because the woman is pregnant. Any discussion of birth control is taboo here and condoms are considered an expensive luxury item. Sex education would be a great thing for this country.


Mai arranged amazing massages for Jen and I. Normally they would cost $28 or more for an hour but we got them for $10. Mine definitely ranked in the top 3 best massages. Mai invited us for dinner at her house that night. She is an amazing chef! We had shrimp (eaten with the shell; something I had never done before), little fish, a bigger fish, rice, and greens cooked with garlic. We ate on a mat on the floor and drank LaRue beer, toasting frequently. Mai's father and brother were both there and her father and husband joined us for dinner. The night before we went to a restaurant called Mango, which is the "shi shi" place to eat in Hoi An. My dinner was okay but the prices were closer to western prices ($8+ for entrees) and mine dish was rather bland. The dinner we enjoyed at Mai's house was definitely one of the best meals I've had in Vietnam.

Our hotel had a pool, and I went for a really wonderful swim on Saturday afternoon. I had forgotten how much I love to swim. Sunday we went to the tailor to make sure everything fit and I had a few things altered. The tailor was even able to copy my favorite pair of shorts for $10! Afterward we went to the beach and read our books while sipping delicious margaritas and mojitos. Unfortunately I didn't put on enough sunscreen and got quite the sun burn. Lots of aloe vera for me! We met up with two of Jen's friends at the beach. Liz is 25, from South Carolina and teaches at the Singapore school down the street from my house. I'm going to go visit her and start making connections. Never know what the future holds! Liz's boyfriend is from Bristol in England and works for ELI: English Language Institute near DaNang University. I'm also meeting with the director of ELI on Wednesday to learn more about what they do. I'm learning that my master's degree in education will open quite a few doors for me if I want to teach English here for a salary at some point.

Last week, I taught my most advanced group of students, Speaking 4. This class is taught by Ms. Yen (pronounced like Ien) and includes about 15, 22-year-old girls. They are currently doing presentations on controversial subjects and they have to make persuasive arguments for or against something. This group chose same-sex marriage. It was quite the showdown. There were several students who adamantly opposed and several who even more adamantly supported same sex marriage. I had to lecture the students several times about respecting each others' opinions. It almost turned into a knocked-down drag out fight. The supporters said that everyone should have the opportunity to marry and be happy. They also said that not everyone needs to have children in a marriage. The opponents said it was unnatural, that if same sex marriage was allowed then everyone would want to be gay (I didn't quite understand this argument), and that they wouldn't want their families to be gay. It seems this country is as divided as America on this topic.

I'm looking out my window at the thunder and lightening. It's 4:45 p.m. on Monday and the rain season has arrived. The rain is a welcome respite from the heat. Hope you are all doing well.